I got a new mobile phone last week – or more correctly I got
a smart phone last week, with all kinds of whistles and bells, internet
access and a gismo that means I can watch TV and pause live radio. I’m
impressed, no, really - that is said without a hint of sarcasm.
The phone this one was replacing was a dinosaur, but as is
the way with things you become familiar with, it was my dinosaur and I loved it. The dinosaur
was also comparatively expensive (make that very expensive) by current
tariffs, giving me 40 free (!) minutes of calls
and 40 texts for £15.00 a month, and no internet access.
The
lady in the phone shop was lovely, really helpful and very polite when I
told her that, and she then went on to tell me how wonderful my new
phone would be, when I was on the move, jetting around the world, sky
diving and partying with my friends, taking photos with the fabulous
camera on my fabulous phone and emailing them, when I was in Cuba or
half way up Mont Blanc - when I was mobile.
It reminded me of all those early ads for Tampax,
when to get the full benefit you needed to take up water polo, ice
skating and world class competitive tennis. To be honest working from
home I’m not that mobile – having my new phone means I can pick my email up in bed –
that’s about as mobile as I’m planning to get. I don’t ring people on it that much
either, so now instead of not using 40 minutes a month I’ll not be
using 500 minutes a month instead - and also, remarkably for just the £15.00 a month.
I was trying to think – as I spent several happy hours trying to get iplayer to
work, downloading my entire music collection and podcasts of Radio 4 comedy programmes
and synchronising my entire life with my phone, that I got my first mobile in 1999 when
I was one of the shortlist for the
Channel 4 SitCom Competition.
I was living in a hotel and going in to the Riverside
Studios in Hammersmith every day to write and rehearse my sitcom –
My lovely Aunt,
wary of London (after all I am from Norfolk) had given me some money to buy a phone in case
I was mugged…. The size it was it would have made the perfect weapon if I’d
tied it into a sock and whirled it round my head.
Back then people hadn’t got into the swing of being
so contactable so it never occurred to me to use the phone or come to that even
turn it on, so I would turn the phone on, on the train home after a week away,
only to find the voicemail full of messages telling me to switch my bloody
phone on. Happy Days …..
